I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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