I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
