Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I touched a dick in church today
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