I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
