He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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