just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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