Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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