And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need water and some morals
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
