just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
