You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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