Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize