if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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