I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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