Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize