Will you blow on my dice?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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