He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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