remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
