im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
