shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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