I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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