How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
FUCK WHALES
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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