i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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