You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
