im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my sisters under your porch take her home
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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