Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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