whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
