i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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