Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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