Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
