I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize