i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
