So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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