Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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