fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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