I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
