Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
