He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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