There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
