it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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