....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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