So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
