Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
