haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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