Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
