You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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