He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
