they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
