remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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