He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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