when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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