garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dear god my vagina.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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