Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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