bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize