I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
