I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
