? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
