Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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