I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
