I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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