So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
