im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
