Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
