it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
