Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize