Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i think i just lost a toe
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
