So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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